One thing I am very particular about when dating is to ensure I am never classified as crazy. Why would a woman lower herself to acting desperate when there are literally hundreds of other guys where he came from? If he doesn’t like you, fuck it. It’s his loss. Nobody likes rejection, and I am no different. Most of us are mature, and we pick up and move on. But then there is the case of “Single Women Go Crazy” – when women take rejection to an extreme.
I got a text from a male friend yesterday who was devastated after finding out a girl he had dated a few months back went online and posted his name, pictures, and profile name from an online dating site on a number of “I dated that douche” type websites. The woman had completely attacked him, even so far as saying to bring Viagra because he can’t get it up. Seriously, how old are we? That’s like the guy in high school spreading rumors about a girl smelling like fish.
My friend found out because a girl he was talking to had Googled his name and discovered the post (sorry buddy, this is classic). A couple of other women who he talked to or dated at some point must have found it as well because these women just had a complete bitch fest about him. My first reaction to him after reading all the posts, “jesus Christ, who did you piss off?”
His gripe was mainly that he has a somewhat public position in his community, but more importantly, he was concerned with his kids seeing it if they ever looked him up online. For me, the kid thing personally got me. I couldn’t IMAGINE, and that’s what hit home with me.
To understand, this guy didn’t cheat or do something horrendous. Some of the remarks (and my commentary) are below:
“He appears to be great until he gets what he wants.”
Commentary: How is this different from any other guy out there? I believe it is an innate trait in the male psyche to do this.
“Every single conversation, he talks about himself and tells you a boring 20 minutes story.”
Commentary: Many people do this – men and women. Maybe he’s hung up on himself, or maybe he’s just nervous. If you think he’s a dick, don’t go out with him again. But don’t post he’s crazy on a half dozen websites because that just makes YOU look crazy.
“He made plans with me six times, and then made up an excuse each time why he couldn’t make it.”
Commentary: Well, that’s your stupidity!! It took you SIX times to figure out he wasn’t interested in you.
“He just went on and on about how attractive I was and talked about the future, but never asked me anything about me.”
Commentary: He is trying to make sure you understand how great he is so you’ll give it up easy. Hello!! What guy DOESN’T go on and on about how different he is and how he wants a relationship and he’s looking for more than just sex. Any intelligent woman knows this is your cue to know he is looking for exactly the OPPOSITE of those things. Duh!!
“He will be totally attentive for a month or so. Good morning, good night. He doesn’t miss a beat. Then when he gets what he wants, he will stop talking to you cold turkey and refuse to answer your calls.”
Commentary: Um, yeah, this is called BEING A MAN. Every guy lays it on thick until he either gets what he wants or realizes he isn’t going to get what he wants. If every woman who gets dumped after a guy has sex with her posted on these sites, EVERY SINGLE MAN IN AMERICA would have his picture on there.
Rejection is not an easy thing. But it’s no wonder all women get a reputation for being crazy – because of stupidity like this. I expect teenagers to cause this type of idiotic drama, not grown women in their 30s and 40s who got rejected. I talk to guys all the time who waste my time for weeks and then disappear or blow me off at the last minute. You just chalk it up to the nature of the game. It’s frustrating as hell, but I’m not going to obsess about it and go post his name in a very public forum and bash him. That just tells people YOU are crazy, not him. But more importantly, it is just giving another example and more ammunition to the next guy I meet who believes all women are psychotic, and it makes my job harder to prove a cool girl can exist who isn’t going to show up at his house boiling a white bunny in a pot.
(NOTE: THIS BLOG IS BEING PUBLISHED WITH HIS PERMISSION).