What started out as a normal conversation with a guy I met on Tinder recently suddenly turned into heavy breathing. I asked him why he sounded weird, and then I said, “Oh my God, are you masturbating?” He giggled and denied it, but then he said he just heard his son get up and hung up abruptly. What the f*ck? Who was this guy? I had to know. So I put my investigative skills into motion (I am THE BEST), and I found him. There he was – BIG CORPORATE EXECUTIVE!
So I laughed my way to bed that night as I scratched my head saying, “Well that was a first.” Of course, I fully expected to never hear from The Masturbator again, but sure as hell the next day, he texted me. WHY ME? He has been relentless, and I am convinced he is a creep and pervert. And I swear he is dying to send me a cock shot.
I have called him a creep and a weirdo and a pervert. He is CRAZY, although he has tried to convince me he is normal because he hasn’t sent me a cock shot yet. I don’t have enough fingers to count the number of times he has asked me out and I have ignored him.
But finally, I have decided to meet BIG CORPORATE EXECUTIVE this weekend. Why I have no idea. But I am completely intrigued for no logical reason whatsoever.