Online Dating Diaries: The Masturbator

What started out as a normal conversation with a guy I met on Tinder recently suddenly turned into heavy breathing.  I asked him why he sounded weird, and then I said, “Oh my God, are you masturbating?”  He giggled and denied it, but then he said he just heard his son get up and hung up abruptly.  What the f*ck?  Who was this guy?  I had to know.   So I put my investigative skills into motion (I am THE BEST), and I found him.  There he was – BIG CORPORATE EXECUTIVE!

So I laughed my way to bed that night as I scratched my head saying, “Well that was a first.”  Of course, I fully expected to never hear from The Masturbator again, but sure as hell the next day, he texted me. WHY ME?  He has been relentless, and I am convinced he is a creep and pervert.  And I swear he is dying to send me a cock shot.

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I have called him a creep and a weirdo and a pervert.  He is CRAZY, although he has tried to convince me he is normal because he hasn’t sent me a cock shot yet.  I don’t have enough fingers to count the number of times he has asked me out and I have ignored him.

mastur2

But finally, I have decided to meet BIG CORPORATE EXECUTIVE this weekend.  Why I have no idea.  But I am completely intrigued for no logical reason whatsoever.

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7 thoughts on “Online Dating Diaries: The Masturbator

  1. Pingback: Dating Drama: Single is Still the Only Option | plentyofdates

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