In honor of Father’s Day, I want to represent the single guys out there so I am posting excerpts from one of the best male online dating profiles I have seen to date. The short story behind it is I actually went on a date with this guy around Halloween time last year. We recently reconnected, and I mentioned how I had started blogging about the crazy world of dating today. I mentioned my blog on the best dating profile I had ever put up, and he said he did something similar. So with his permission, I am reposting parts of his recent profile (with my commentary, of course). Here is an excerpt:
The Top Ten Things I Dislike
- Group pictures. If you need to constantly surround yourself with a group of friends for security. Never mind, it’s just confusing.
Commentary: I don’t think there is anything wrong with putting pictures with a group of friends, as long as you have pictures of just you alone so someone can tell who you are in the group picture. But I do understand this as I will just pass by a profile that has multiple people in every picture. I don’t have time to try to figure out which one you are, but more than likely, you are the ugly one.
- Kids pictures. I’m sure your kids are great, and I love kids. But it’s exploitive.
Commentary: I disagree here. I’ve put pictures with my kids. It is my way of telling someone, “This is who I am. I come with two kids, so if you don’t like kids, I’m not interested.” For me, it’s also my way of saying to a potential date that I am a mother, and I expect the same level of respect as you would give to your own mother.
- Duck faces. If you’re posing with the duck face, you are probably not old enough to play Saved by the Bell or 90210 trivia with me.
Commentary: What is it with women and the duck face pictures? You don’t look sexy, you look stupid.
- Pictures with other guys in it. I will assume your date is chaperoned.
Commentary: It depends on the situation. I don’t think this is a big deal, unless every picture is in a bar with her holding a beer in her hand and there are five guys surrounding her. That speaks to a man, “I am a drunk barfly and love attention.”
- Pictures in your bathing suit. I like a little mystery. I have a daughter and I wouldn’t want her exploiting her body this way.
Commentary: I totally agree. The women who post sexy pictures on a dating site are the same women who complain when guys talk dirty or say suggestive things to them. If you don’t want to be disrespected, cover up!
- Pictures with no smile. I had a date once with a girl who didn’t smile in a single picture. We were a lot alike, except my dental plan allowed me to keep all my teeth.
Commentary: I totally agree. Teeth are very important. I think it is the first thing most people look at and says a lot about how someone takes care of themselves. But from the women’s perspective, I hate it when guys wear baseball hats in every picture to disguise the fact they are losing their hair. If you are going bald or are bald, don’t hide it. Some women love bald. But don’t list yourself as having brown hair when you literally have a SINGLE hair.
- People who point out spelling mistakes. I am fully capable of distinguishing between their, they’re and there, and two, too, and to in a sentence, but don’t care if you are. Different people are good at different things.
Commentary: I disagree. Yes, we all make errors. Or that darn spell check incorrectly corrects you. However, I am big on proper grammar as I think it speaks volumes about a person and their intelligence. A mistake here and there can be overlooked, but consistently misspelling words or using big words out of context to look smart is a huge turnoff.
- Pill heads and alcoholics. Bottom line, you can’t be trusted.
- Stuck up people. I’d rather hang around with the po than the stuck up. Money doesn’t equal class.
Commentary: Self-explanatory once again. However, this can be tricky because as a woman, I didn’t work hard and get to where I am to let some poor ass leach off me. I once went on a date with a guy who bragged about his half million dollar house, jet ski, boat, his daughter’s $10,000 private school tuition, and picked me up in his $50,000 truck – then let me pay for dinner. Or the one and only degenerate I dated seriously in the last four years who would brag about buying himself $700 fishing boots and then conveniently forget his debit card when we went out (unless the IRS seized his bank account again). You get the point though.
- Chain restaurants. I think they are for the unenlightened and are killing the independent restaurant industry. The only exception is taking your kids to one because talking animals are awesome.
Commentary: I totally love this one.
So in honor of all you awesome single dads out there, Happy Father’s Day – and may you all find true love one day.