Plenty of Fun with POF: Guys Have it Tough

When my male friend asked me to blog about online dating from the guy’s point of view, I thought what better way than to set up a profile of a guy and see for myself.  I have started to blog on this topic to show what women go through.  But now I’m representing the males out there.  So ladies, pay attention to what I have to say!

Let me start off by saying I already have a newfound appreciation for men and what they go through – and I have barely even started.  The action of guys online: picture tumbleweeds blowing in the desert.  Whereas my female profile got 119 emails in 12 hours, and the emails are still coming in like waves, my male profile only had 2 emails in 12 hours.  A lousy 2 emails…WHAT??

I was very careful in choosing the guy I wanted to be.  I approached an acquaintance on Facebook who I knew from mutual friends has NO problem getting the ladies when they go out.  He’s an absolute cutie, very clean cut and dresses well.  In fact, I had a hard time finding pictures on his Facebook page to use because he had a swarm of pretty girls on him in most.  He agreed to let me use his pictures for my experiment, and I made him into every woman’s dream.

The profile: His name is Mike, a 32 year old general contractor, no kids.  He likes to watch sports, snowboard, and race fast cars.  A real “man’s man” who works with his hands, but still likes to cook and is hoping to “make memories with that one special someone.” 

C’mon this guy is like a dream come true for most girls – and being it that I wrote his profile, he can even spell and construct proper paragraphs.  So how did the “male me” only get two emails??!!??

If the emails were from women to write home about, it wouldn’t have been so bad.  But one of them had purple hair and more pictures of her tattoos than she did of herself.  So I said to myself, “It looks like I’m going to have to make the effort here.” 

I started scrolling through profiles.  I decided “Mike” was going to pursue your every day average girl at first to just see the kind of response he would get.  So I start throwing out emails to see who bites.  I actually read the profiles and send messages alluding to something in their profile to let them know I pay attention.  For me, this was important when I had a profile because it showed me that the guy actually took the time to read what I had to say and come up with something more original than just “hi” or “beautiful.”

I send out about 30 emails, and get four responses.  I’m not impressed.  Wow, guys really need to work hard here.  As a female, when I would send out five emails, I would always at a minimum go 4 out of 5.  So I was with one of my male friends yesterday, and I confirm with him that it is hard for guys.  He said, “See, I tell you this all the time.  Women are impossible.  Their expectations are way too high.  Guys have to send out at least 50 emails to get a couple of bites.”  He’s got a point, but then drives it home even further when he says, “And then we are expected to pay.”

So while I understand that guys have it tough, I also know that any reasonably attractive girl is getting BOMBARDED as I’ve already demonstrated in my previous blog. So there are two sides to the story, but girls definitely have the advantage here.

But are women’s expectations too high?  I am beginning to think so. 

One woman I emailed was a reasonably attractive 40-something year old.  I showed her to my friend, Jay, and he confirmed, “Her face is a little tired, but I would definitely take her out” (and he said do other things to her, but this is not an X-rated blog).  In her profile, she states that she likes a guy to be at least 5’ 9” because she likes to wear heels.  Well Mike is 5’ 9” so I thought I’d give it a shot.  Even as a woman, I am thinking in my head this lady is going to eat up the attention of a guy that is cute AND ten years younger.  I couldn’t have been more wrong. Here is an excerpt of the conversation below.

mike1

I am starting to concede that guys have it tough.  I’ll be back to report on the male perspective again – and you won’t believe what I have to say next.  Team Elizabeth or Team Mike – I have to say there is no competition.  Mike, and all the other single guys of this world, definitely got their work cut out for them.  I have only just started to dabble in the world of online dating for men.  But as a woman, I am even beginning to ask, “What DO girls really want?”  Stay tuned.

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9 thoughts on “Plenty of Fun with POF: Guys Have it Tough

  1. I think both sides have it equally as rough. Guys expectations are Sex Sex Sex… and because every time we go out with them, we can see the fire in their eye and cunning to try to bed us in one night. I have really taken a step back. I went out on my date the other night, he seems genuine, so nice, gentlemanly, took an interest and kissed me goodnight. The next night he was trying to get me to come over and watch movies in “his bed”. Then as our phone conversation progressed, it was all about sex sex sex, at first in a round about way and then very direct. I was so turned off, I blocked him. What I am really interested in, is taking the time to get to know someone and let things happen spontaneously. Not have some horny guy objectifying me on the whole date, trying to figure out an angle to get me to fuck him. The oldest trick in the book is – get her drunk…. That doesn’t work anymore, it is so cheesy… Besides when you let things happen naturally, it makes the experience that more enjoyable. I don’t mind talking about sex after we have had it a few times, I just want to be able to explore and experience each other, before I divulge what a vixen I am… ha ha… Just want a nice guy, not too good looking, just cute and enjoyable to be around…. Is that too much to ask??? Please show your men in your control group and the men in the study group their opinion on what I have just said. :o)

  2. Pingback: "What the h*** is wrong with women today?" - Page 3 - AllDeaf.com

  3. Your comment became invalid when you said “guys want sex sex sex”, well I am a guy and I know a lot of guys. We want girlfriends, not just sex. You truly have no idea and your are utterly ignorant. I don’t care if you’ve bumped in to lots of guys with this attitude, they only represent a minority. They may be the majority of guys you meet, but there will be a reason for this, most likely inherent to yourself, possibly also to do with the fact that sex drive guys will be more driven to extrovertly seek to satisfy their desires. In short, though, you are ignorant of the male psyche and situation.

    • If you even knew me a smidgen, you would know that I am the LAST WOMAN on this planet that any man would say that is even remotely inherent to. I have several close male friends who in addition to being protective of me, are also very honest. They tell me I am “plain” or too much “like a mom.” Are these bad qualities? And if you knew where I was coming from or read other blogs, you would know that I have stated the reason most guys think with the wrong head is because WOMEN MAKE IT EASY FOR THEM. And dating sites only contribute to the lack of people willing to commit. Why would you want to settle down with one person when there are 50 more choices waiting for you at home in your inbox? Then there are guys that I believe do have honest intentions when they first try dating online. They take two or three women out on a date – and they sleep with every one of them. Then it becomes like an addiction, they get a taste of the “fun” and love the thrill of the chase. Suddenly the original intention of finding a girlfriend is an after thought as they start to enjoy their freedom and a new girl in their bed every weekend. There’s a lot of factors that contribute to it – and I have talked to more single men in the last three years who have been very candid with me – purely on a friendly level. So I am not making assumptions but speaking from my own experiences and first-hand conversations with numerous single men. Online dating is nearly impossible, and is best for those not seeking a commitment of any kind. The success rate for finding a long-term, healthy relationship on any of these sites is about 1 in 1000.

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